Today it’s the hard stuff.  I debated whether or not to even write this entry — I mean…how can I even come CLOSE to sharing something so personal and so hard with all of you…but I came to the conclusion that if your even here reading this — then you either…like me…know me…or want to know more about me.  And Lulu is a very very big part of my life.  For eleven years.

I lost my best friend yesterday.  It was quick and unexpected — even though I could see age taking it’s toll — I still clung to the belief that she would be part of my life forever.  Those of you who have pets or anyone or anything super important in your world know exactly what I am saying.   You know it’s coming — but you’ll willingly cling to the last scrap of time together no matter how hard or how much effort it takes.

I used to be (haha.  that’s a joke.  I still am.) afraid of relationships.  Of commitment.  Of making a CHOICE and having to stick to it forever.  I didn’t want to be tied down with a pet…I felt like it was not the greatest decision I made…

But then I met Lulu.

Those of you who met her will know that Lulu has (forgive.  I still cannot speak in past tense.  not yet) the most amazing personality.  She was happy to see me no matter how long I was gone…5 minutes or 5 days.  She missed me.  And I missed her.

Losing her is so terribly painful.

But I also want to tell you that the pain I am feeling is small compared to the amount of joy that dog has given me over the years.  She’s listened to me.  She’s snuggled me when I was upset and growled at me when I wanted to play.  She made me laugh every.single.damn.day.  And I am going to miss her so much.

So…here are just a few of the amazing things that I love about my dog.

1.  Her aversion to peanut butter.  She never could understand:  was it a liquid?  was it a solid?  She made the funniest “peanut butter face”.  OMG.

2.  Floppy Tongue.  Floppy tongue came out when she was happiest.  When the people who loved her were around her and paying attention to how fabulous she was and rubbed her belly.  This is a RARE photograph my son snapped of my puppy and me and floppy tongue.

3.  Swimming Dog.  She’s a lab right?  She loves loves water.  And swimming.  And shaking it all off on whomever is closest.

4. Her smile.  Lulu always smiled.  Unless I was going somewhere and not taking her.  Her smile sometimes got me through the day.

5.  She loved me no matter what.  If I was grumpy, unshowered, weird, tired, sad, happy.  Her devotion never waivered.  Nor did mine.

I know she’s not in pain anymore.  I know she loves me.  And I know that in knowing her — I am a completely better, calmer and happier person than I would have been.  And…it really really hit home to me how incredibly important photographs are today.  These photographs…some of them are OLD.  All of them are PRECIOUS.  Because I can’t get her back again.  But I can carry her in my heart and remember.

So … I don’t want you to be sad for me.  I’m soooo lucky to have had such an amazing dog in my life.  I just wanted you to know I’m sad.  And I miss my puppy.

Love you Luleelu.  You’re SUCH a good girl.

xo Tam

An absolute riot!!!

The Darlings were such an inspiring, close-knit family and a hands-down hilarious group. They along with their four furry friends had me laughing so hard I was almost crying the entire time I was shooting.

4 humans + 4 dogs officially = an incredibly fun family shoot!

And….and a great deal of teamwork to get everyone looking at the camera at once.

Thing is – I’ve learned this from Lulu – when you’re a dog the simplest things are sometimes the most thrilling things in the world…

GRASS!!!! OMG!!!! EVERYONE’S SITTING ON THE GRASS!!!!! OMG!!!!!

It’s so exciting.

But after much running around, calling, cooing, cajoling and otherwise convincing we finally got everyone to look…

Well…

…almost.

Here it is:

My dog HATES the black clicky thing.  Anytime I try to photograph her in any significant way she LITERALLY will not look in the camera.  And then she barks at me.  Loudly.  Obnoxiously.  Until I put that annoying camera away.

Today was a sneak attack.  She was distracted by Jess paying attention to her.

haha.  Gotcha.

Lulu. Is.  The.  Best.  Dog.  Ever.

And well fed.

Obviously. 

Fast forward to the fall when I get an AMAZING call from Mary — that she and Ryan were engaged!  They are getting married this fall — and as it should be — they BOTH glow when they are together.  Ryan loves animals and nature as much as Mary does — I can’t wait to see what crazy details they come up with for their wedding day.

As the day approached for their engagement shoot — I was watching the weather and realized that the day we were going to shoot was supposed to be AWFUL — so I shot a quick email and basically BEGGED them to shoot with me TODAY as it was sunny and pretty and I really really wanted a nice day for them…needless to say — they said yes, and although it was CRAZY cold out — we still managed to have fun with their cool dogs and great light.

I can’t believe I got all four of them in the same frame…sitting at the same time!

The light!  The light!

This field was awesome.  I don’t know if Mary and Ryan LOVED being all up in the brush — but it LOOKED cool.  And that is what is important in photographs, eh?

I’m not afraid to tell you this:  I took this one only for Mary. 

Dear Mary and Ryan.  I had fun.  I love your dogs.  And you two are so great together.  Love Tam.  PS:  Please bring dogs to wedding.  ::grin::

very rarely do I mix and cross over these groups with each other.  So…since I thought it might be interesting to push everyone into one slideshow (read:  laaazzzyy ::laughing::) — so that there’s a record of 2009 visually all together in one place.  It’s pretty cool.

Some images you’ve seen…some you haven’t.  And no, this isn’t EVERYONE who I worked with this year — that slideshow would be about 4000 hours long (not really — but I wanted to fit it into one song – -so this is my best shot)…so I pulled images that appealed to me TODAY.  If I worked on a slideshow tomorrow — it would be completely different.  So…gather what you want about my mood today — here is 2009 in 4 minutes.  Put your seatbelt on please.

Click on the image.  Ra ra ah ah ah….

And the images are SMOKIN’!!!!!!!!!!

and…what about THIS!!

Oh.  And in case you were wondering?  Here’s what Mary had to say about this.  (hey.  she said I could, right?  so I AM!):

OH MY GOD!! MY LITTLE JOE!!
wow, that is soooo coool!! i’m am just about bawling looking at those!

they DO ROCK, they are just full of emotion!  and look at little joe’s smile. oh my God. wow.  you really did such an awesome job Tammy, thank you so so so much!  you caputred the love for sure, wouldn’t have wanted anyone else to do it!  and that really is not that easy to do, when you have not ever met the person, dog or horse before!!
You’re awesome Tammy!!  Thank you so much for your talent and effort.  That’s why I picked you – because your eye captures the emotion, and the “real” moments.  Thank you for that excellent christmas present you just gave me of a WHOLE blog post, whoa!! You’ve totally made my whole day, week, and winter…I’m going to just be salivating over these images for weeks & months to come!  Thank you for understanding my love for Kill & Patty, and having the heart to capture it.  Your work is just amazing!
I can’t wait to give you a hug in person,

WITH MUCH LOVE,
Mary

(ps…feel free to use any of my comments for testimonials if ever needed!)

You are hearing it here first.

I am utterly and completely addicted to color.  Vibrant, muted, pastel, jewel…it doesn’t really matter.  Colors just SING to me.  Every day.

A lot of my clients worry when the weather is bad…and you know what my response it?  It’s perfect.  Cloudy = soft beautiful light and VIBRANT colors.  Fall weather?  Bring it on baby.  LOVE the light and color at this time of year.

I think if you spend enough time looking at what I do (like me… because…yeah.  duh.) you’ll start to see some common things emerging:

First:  I LOVE people.  I love interacting, talking, playing, laughing, goofing around.  I think that shows up in the images.  Typically my clients are very comfortable with me and if they are NOT — they’ll tell you it  doesn’t take long for that to go away.  I’m a button pusher.  If you’re shy I push you to be in front…if you’re loud — I might make you do some quiet beautiful shots…it’s just…fun to play.  That’s the only way I can express it.

Second:  The color thing.  I can’t help but put people in colorful settings and SURROUND them with it.  And the funny thing is?  I can’t tell you how I do it.  I am not consciously looking for it — it’s just so much a part of how I see things that it just happens.  I love that part.  It’s why taking photographs is so magical to me.

Third:  Not soooo traditional.  ::laughing::  I can do traditional.  I have done traditional…but always just a leeetttllle bit of tammyitis sneaks in and they have some strange little twist.  Again.  Can’t explain it better than that.  I want my images to say something.  I want you to look at them and laugh or cry or FEEL something.  Traditional photography — wedding photography — is a little flat for me.  I want emotion darn it!  EMO-SSSHHIIOON.  ::laughing::

So.  There is my soap box for the day.  It’s fun, blogging.  I love thinking about what I want to say and how I am going to say it.  I love choosing images to help me show you how amazing my clients are.  And I LOVE when you COMMENT!  ::wide cheesy grin::

Here’s What’s Happened in Tammy’s World This Week:

A wedding in which the entire wedding party CONVINCED ME ( it’s ALWAYS the other way around) that they could climb into a dry creek bed for photographs.  I was worried.  High heels + Little Stones = Tammy Worry  But it turned out incredibly.  LOVE the light and the viewpoint.  This wedding rocked the house.  Wait until you see the slideshow — details were off the HOOK by Stacy K.  (duh).

A portrait session with the coolest girl who wanted to document her love for her horse and her dog.  They’ve hung together for years and she decided (I think she told me it took her two years?  OMG) that it was time to get photographs — she loves taking pics too — but as with all of us — there are no pics of HER in the ones she takes.  So this was her opportunity to be on the other side of the camera.  And the farm.  And the fields.  And the barn.  I was in HEAVEN.

An impromtu — hey can you photograph a civil ceremony on a Tuesday?  wedding.  This couple cracked me up.  We’d never met.  It was POURING and somehow we rocked out the images.  Nevada was GORGEOUS.  And they were totally into letting me be creative.  So even something so simple — turned out amazing.  I’m so glad they hired me.  I took one of my all time favorite images at their wedding.  Can you tell which one it is?  Seriously — did you KNOW City Hall looked like that on the inside?!  I thought we were in an Italian Villa!

An Engagement session in which I did absolutely nothing but laugh and watch two people have fun with their dog and their boat.  And yep.  I ended up in the water (just mid calf, nbd).  But it was a moment when I was thinking…WHY DID I WEAR A SKIRT?!  WHY TAMMY WHY?  (Answer:  no clean laundry.  oh wells. )  Also…one of the shots (I’ll let you guess which one) made me laugh so hard…omg.

A wedding with a couple who just lit up the day with their happiness.  I LOVED photographing them.  And her father’s backyard?  Seriously?  Crazy.  They were super good sports about all my crazy ideas — and I LOVE what we did that day.  The images rock.

Also – I’m finishing up senior season and maybe, just maybe I’ll do a load of laundry this week.  It could happen!  (stop laughing.  it COULD!  ::grin::)

Here’s this week’s crazy in the VIZ:

Oh PS:  If you’ve gotten this far then you’ll notice that I also went to a football game.  it was cold.  and my big fancy lense was USELESS from far away.  So I amused myself by photographing the entire game from the tops of the player’s heads.  Cuz you know.  It was fun.  The image above is one of my favs.  Touchdown!!

Here we are.  The absolute HEART of busy season.  I don’t know if you know this about me — but I follow over 500 blogs daily.  (I know, right?  Srsly.)  I don’t read them every day — but I do know this — that right now is when you find your favorite bloggers — photographers especially — sort of trail off into silence…or a post begging you to understand how busy they are.  ::grin::

So I am blogging to tell you:  I am busy.  I am blogging.  And I am here.  Crazed.  But here.

This week (okay.  last week.  I am a wee bit behind in most things in my life.  ::grin::).

Here’s all the fun stuff I got to do:

Jess and I re-wrote the FAQ section on the blog.  That sounds boring, doesn’t it?  But truly, it was fun to work with Jess on it and fun to see it all come together so awesomely (is that a word?)!

I put together some FUN AND CRAZY WEDDING SLIDESHOWS for Kelly and Dan,  Brooke and Dave, and Bethany and Patrick.  But only check them out if you’re serious.  My slideshows are long and elaborate and I am in love with every single one of them.  Also – let me know what you think — cuz I’m still working on a format…

A 70th birthday party with a PUPPY and BOYS and LAKE and SAND.  Could the day have been more perfect?  I think not.  It was so much fun!

Seniors.  If you are looking at my photographs and thinking – wow.  I love those  – I need Tammy to take MINE ( or my son/daughter or my neighbor who’s a senior or the girl in Ontario) — my answer:  get.on.the.calendar.  My sessions are booking so fast my head is spinning.  But there’s still some.  Grab one.  that’s all I’m saying.

And for the record:  when did seniors get so sophisticated and beautiful?  I know.  a definite fact.  That I NEVER looked so good.  And my senior pictures?  Big ol’ zit right in the middle of my nose.  The Rudolph Series.  Nice.  ::laughing::

An AMAZING WEDDING with two families that were beyond wonderful.  And a couple of silly fun incidents (hello — the priest almost fell on me!) that made taking photographs EXTRA fun!

A guitarist with dreams of making it big and writing his own music.  Rock on!

A family of girls so beautiful that I could NOT take ONE bad picture.  Not one.

Did I mention the PUPPY yet?  OMG.

I love this time of year.  One of my photo buddies said — you know Tam, you use sun flare A LOT — but somehow…I never get tired of it!  Right?!  I NEVER get tired of it!  So stay OUT SUNSHINE!

Here’s my recap in the VIZZUUUAAALLLL:

Here’s the cliff note version:

wedding.  fun.  pink.  amazing sunset.  (you’ll have to wait for those however.  they’re still a secret.  ::grin::)

senior Bryanna with the most.amazing.hair.and.blue.eyes.ever.

crazy fam session that included sand eating (8 month old) and falling into the lake (3 year old).  Yep.  I laughed the entire time.  So freaking cute!

a pair of adorable Llapso’s and their moms and a great sunset.  but lots of mosquitos.  You’d be surprised at how many mosquitos I have to photoshop off people’s faces at this time of year.  srsly.

an engagement session that started with a soccer ball being kicked quite dramatically at the poor fiance.  And yep.  My suggestion.  Luckily Victor didn’t actually HIT her with the ball.  But I made a note to self:  bad idea.  ::grin::

Whirlwind week.  New ideas.  New components that I can hardly wait to share with you…but I must.  Self restraint is never good for me — but I am trying to improve as I get older — so you’ll have to stick with me and see when it rolls.  But I mean it — so cool.

Without further ado…I give you:  this week in pictures.  Sort of.  this week in sneak peeks for clients.